Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Harrys Funeral..

Well where do i start?, i remember waking up and just knowing what i had to face that day, my final farewell to my precious little man.. :(
As i was getting dressed all i could think was only 8weeks ago i wore this all black again for my mothers funeral, time quickly passed and the 'limo' pulled up, we walked outside i could see my little Harrys coffin in the back this was all hitting me to quick, i thought i was ready i wasnt..
Driving up towards the crem, i was looking at all the beautiful scenery, but all i could think of is my Harry will never get to see this, Rob was sat next to me with Harrys coffin on his knee, tears quickly started flowing down my face i thought i was honestly cried out, we were arriving in the crematorium we were driving in so slow, i could read all the headstones.. all i kept seeing was 'aged 81' 'aged 90' but those people had a life, i didnt see one headstone aged 0, because that was Harrys age wasnt it? this is so wrong my poor baby in this coffin when he should be in my arms, we arrived at the service, the 'limo' driver opened my door for me i didnt look around i just wanted to get inide i didnt want to see anybody, we walked in to the church with 'stay - by shakespears sister' such a beautiful song just like Harry. The vicar began the service and Rob placed harrys coffin at the front, right in my view.. our view.
The first hymm was morning has broken, the second him was the lord is my shephard, i had browsed the internet for days to find two poems that best fit my feelings i say my i mean ours, my partner chose this one..
Don't let them say, I wasn't born
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave
I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy, not, of me
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms
Someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes"
But that won't soften your worst blow..
Or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do,
another child you'll bear.
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you'll understand.
Although, I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes..
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An Angel Never Dies........

I personaly think that poem is perfect.. The second poem i chose..

Time has taken me from you,
Although not very far.
I'll be watching through the sunshine
And through the brightest star.

I'll be watching all of you,
From the heavens up above.
So take good care of each other
And carry all my love.

If you're ever wondering
If I'm there, here's where you can start.
Take a look inside yourself
Deep within your heart.

I'll always be your baby,
Your child. Your first born.
So anytime you need me,
Close your eyes I'm back again.
 
At the end of the service the curtains began to close, that was it i couldnt keep my tears in any longer, as we were walking out of the church somebody gave me a hug, all i can remember is my screams, i just couldnt stop crying, all of a sudden it had hit me, my baby the baby i had longed for, had hopes for and just genuinly loved so dearly had just been taken from me, it was final now, i had to accept it. I wasnt ready atall, i still think in my head, its going to me hit me ever harder when my partner begins to accept Harrys gone because he hasnt yet, so i feel like im grieving alone.
Sleep tight Angel.
Harry Thomas Jospeh White
Born Sleeping
01/01/2011
Layed to rest
24/01/2011
 

16 comments:

  1. Oh Hannah... I'm so sorry... I remember the funerals of Nicholas & Sophia and Alexander like they were yesterday. And that pain, that hurt... It's like a blade slicing your very soul. I'm thinking of you and sending loving thoughts...

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  2. Hi Michele.

    Today seems to have been harder, people say each day becomes easier i dont agree there i think people cope differently however i dont know how i am coping
    x

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  3. Here from LFCA. So very sorry for you and am thinking of you and sending you many thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks ahead.

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  4. Here from LFCA... Thinking of you during this heartachingly difficult time. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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  5. I am so sorry of the loss of your beloved little Harry. You & his daddy chose beautiful poems to remember him. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your loss, Hannah ... you are in my thoughts.

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your little boy is beautiful, I'm just so sorry that he isn't in your arms.

    My heart, though I don't know you is breaking.

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  8. Here from LFCA. I'm so so sorry for your loss. The poems are beautiful. I've buried two of my babies and am all too familiar with the pain of leaving them behind...I just wish I could give you a big hug!

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  9. Here from LFCA
    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and you and sweet baby boy.
    love to you....

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  10. I am sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. The poems are beautiful.

    (here from LFCA)

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  11. From LFCA. So very sorry for your loss.

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  12. Here from LCFA as well. I lost my son last year in January. What strong words you chose in those poems to let others and your precious son know how much you loved him and how others could best comfort you. Much love and comfort you in this very dark time. There is a dark and moving river running around you of other babylost moms who are here to lift you up and support you. If you have not been invited, please visit, Glow in the Woods blog for more kindred spirits. Blessings.

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  13. Here from LCFA. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Your love for Harry is so vivid in your words.

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  14. Thankyou all for your lovely comments, may i ask whats LCFA?
    xx

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  15. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. :(

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